As everyone should! It's hard not to see Barletta popping up everywhere these days online. He's one of the most prolific up and comers on the blog scene. I was fortunate enough to catch his first (!) Dj set at Remix This (hosted by the tirelessly awesome Matt Medley)...and we promptly invited him to spin with Gangbangaz @ Supermarket for his second throwdown on the decks. It sucks that we all missed DJ Assault @ Circa, but we were busy making our own little history...
Barletta's remixes have obviously been getting to some good ears, cause none other than Larry Tee contacted our crew to express respect for the talented Barletta. Barletta and I chatted after his (bangin!) set, and he told me his goal when reworking a track is to take it to a whole other level..he is not afraid to fuck with it..and I greatly admire that in a remixer. DJ Barletta MySpace Page
You're gonna hear more about this guy...here's two remixes, one of my favorite peeps, Syntonics...headz up, Barletta's remix of "Delia" by ProCon coming soon!
Due to the fact that I'm extremely jaded, it takes a lot to get me excited these days...But fuck,do I love Midnight Juggernauts. Bowie-esque vocal stylings, chilly arpeggiators, good musician skills, sexy tunes. A+
Check the video for "Road To Recovery"
You'll also be wanting to head to their MySpace Page to check out some other amazing trax!
And yer freebie for the day... Dystopia_TurkishPrisonRemix_.mp3 Midnight Juggernauts "Dystopia" Turkish Prison RMX (Thieves Like Us)
TORONTO - Barenaked Ladies frontman Steven Page, known for his clean-cut image and goofy stage antics, has been charged in New York state with possession of cocaine.
Police said Tuesday that the bespectacled singer, responsible for such pop hits as "If I Had a $1,000,000" and "Be My Yoko Ono," was charged last Friday with criminal possession of a controlled substance after cocaine and marijuana were found in an apartment in Fayetteville, N.Y.
Capt. Bill Bleyle of the nearby town of Manlius said the 38-year-old Page was released Friday upon paying $10,000 bail on the felony charge.
Bleyle said the arrest occurred at about 2 a.m. Friday after patrolling police noticed a suspicious car with its driver's side door left open and found a man and woman in a nearby apartment with a white capsule in front of them. Bleyle said the pair were later found to be in possession of cocaine.
"In the process of making the arrest, the girl he (Page) was with identified him as the lead singer for the group," Bleyle said from Manlius, just outside Syracuse.
"He subsequently said, 'Yes, I play the guitar and sing."'
Stephanie Ford, 25, was charged with criminal possession of a controlled substance, as well as unlawful possession of marijuana. A second woman, Christine Benedicto, 27, was charged with criminal possession of a controlled substance.
Bleyle said Page posted the $5,000 bail for Ford.
Page's manager, Terry McBride, said from Vancouver that he wouldn't discuss the matter but was confident the popular frontman would be cleared.
"We cannot comment because the matter is before the courts but we are confident that our client Steven will be completely exonerated," McBride said.
"Until that time it's business as usual for the Barenaked Ladies."
Page is to return to Fayetteville court Thursday.
Jesus, who'd have thunk it! What it does prove is that doing coke does not always lead to composing bangers...
So, a pal sent me a link to this today, and I found it too hilarious not to share... Behold, the "Playmobil Security Check Point" perfect for a child's early introduction to travelling in fear as well as racial profiling! Amazon Page
From the Manufacturer: The woman traveler stops by the security checkpoint. After placing her luggage on the screening machine, the airport employee checks her baggage. The traveler hands her spare change and watch to the security guard and proceeds through the metal detector. With no time to spare, she picks up her luggage and hurries to board her flight!
We're talking hours of fun for the kids!!! Plus the user comments are...sadly chock o' block full of unintentional humor.
Interesting to note that in the "customers also looked at" section... "Big Daddy's Girl Hooker Prostitute Sexy Luxurious Crushed Velvet with Leopard Trim" teehee!
Usually I get annoyed by cute voiced smart named chicks that rap like they don't give a shit and bands that list a bunch of high fashion cities as their location. In this case, I however, I must beg to differ.
Meet Terry PoisonFour sexy gals with enough balls to list the names of their stylists (cool!)..hailing from Oslo, Paris and Tel Aviv. I first heard the remix for their track "24 Hours To Go" I'm posting below, but when you peep their myspace page, you find some really developed melodies and some pretty tight arrangements, all in covered in a satisfying sugary layer of dirty sparkly production.
I am an incurable Euroslut, so...two thumbs up! If you like Peaches, Yelle, Lady Tigra, Le Tigre, hot girls dancing around in AA boycut briefs...well, get with Terry Poison! urs_AstonShuffleA-BombRemix_.mp3 Terry Poison "24 Hours To Go" Aston Shuffle RMX
I posted the Gangbangaz DJs "Mer Du ProCon" mash a while back. They're back with some new mashes and edits after playing the infamous Circa club last week for Toronto's Pride closing party, alongside Lief (hep new gay emcee) and Ru Paul. Yes, THAT Ru Paul. Peep them up on their myspace page and you might get them to send you one of their kickass T's...
PhoneBoi Adult "Hand To Phone" vs. Big Boi & Purple Ribbon All Stars "Kryptonite"
Maniac Head Bloody Beetroots "Maniac" RMX vs. "Gimme Head" Dj Deeon
David Lee Roth is famous for what comes out of his mouth, but the Van Halen vocalist almost died recently for what he instead put into his mouth.
Roth was reportedly pulled over for speeding in Ontario, Canada last month when officers noticed the rocker was having a medical emergency. As it turned out, Roth was suffering from a severe allergic reaction to nuts.
An ambulance was called and Roth, who at one time worked as an EMT, was taken to a local hospital, where he was treated and released. The officers are being credited with saving Roth's life.
I got a soft spot in my heart for David Lee Roth. He brings the rock like none other. "Classy" isn't a word that comes to mind when discussing his vibe, but in the whole Van Hagar debacle, he's the only one who displays it. Anyhow, super glad this happened in Canada (land of higher taxes but free healthcare!), cause..if it had been in the US...well, no guarantees, eh? Anyhow, anaphylactic shock is a shitty way to go, someone go get that rock icon a zebra striped beribboned epi pen already!
A blog worth blogging about. Reasons to love Hipster Runoff. 1) I suspect he's pretty hot. 2) Honest, bitchy commentary on sketchy vapid culture. 3) Also thinks CC is a sham. 4) Likely wouldn't be caught dead djing in a mask or a keffiyeh. 5) Was the "first blogger to blog about Justice".
I've just come back from a successful late nite djing gig in a bit of a state, but rest assured, my "awesome taste-ometer" hasn't been affected. Thanks to discodust? for posting this first....
Not a Coldplay fan, I. Manufactured schlocky drama. Pap. "Yellow" was like nails on a freakin' chalkboard and it's not gotten better since. New album out today, woohoo...let's pretend to be Arcade Fire instead of Radiohead. (Wot, Radiohead got too "musically challenging" to copy?). Shit, at least Muse made something interesting of themselves. (Go team Muse!)
Annnyyhow, furor erupts on the internet. Surprise, surprise, the poorly named (but trendily moustache'd) CREAKY BOARDS from Brooklyn might have cause to call plagiarism against Coldplay. Check out this clip. The more you watch it, the more it makes you say...hmmmmmm?
In a recent interview (where he declares his love for Limp Bizkit...joke or no joke, terribly uncool) Martin states, "With Brian [Eno], he's not snobby about any kind of music. He'd say, ''Listen to this Donna Summer track and then this Boyz II Men track.'' Then we'd listen to Rammstein, and I played him a Limp Bizkit song. It could be literally like that, so we were able to plagiarize from the most extraordinary places."
ps. Eno produced this new Coldplay album (oh, Eno, you disappoint me sometimes with the cash grabs, there's so many bands out there today who would really produce miracles with your influence). Although, to give Eno credit, he apparently said to Chris Martin:
"Your songs are too long. And you're too repetitive, and you use the same tricks too much, and big things aren't necessarily good things, and you use the same sounds too much, and your lyrics are not good enough."
As a lazy (but effective!) DJ, I often find myself hearing a track, making scrunchy fists and looking up to the heavens while pleading "Oh! If there was just a more BANGIN'ER version of this!"
Yes, "bangin'er" is a now a word, and Cobrapants realizes that yes, creating her own loops so she can just do it on the fly is...only weeks away and not that freakin' hard.
Whatever.
The point is, when I GET to that point, CHEW FU is always there to rescue me. There's not a refix of his I can't throw down with good results. Sense of humour, good taste, it's no wonder he's the king of Palms Out.
Just when I start to get all pissy about electronic music, I see something that restores my faith. Thanks to friend of Cobrapants, Rico Suave for turning me onto "The Scene" a Detroit cable TV show that aired videos and featured local dancers throwing down to tracks that would become legendary. All in all, this shit scores a hundred out of ten in the fashion, dance and music departments. I also almost forgot to mention the obscenely awesome sax solo in the first clip. Fuck yeah!
I wish I was one of them chicks doing "the hot secretary strut". Too cool.
I don't need to explain why I post what I post but I'm gonna anyhow. I'm just really diggin this video. Maybe it's because I smoke too much weed. Maybe because I'm charmed by the retro special effects, maybe it's the Yngwie Malmsteen-esque guitar break. The proto-trance Abba-esque female vocals? I could go on. They just don't make songs like this anymore.
GUITARS ON COBRAPANTS! Yeah, I dig guitars too. And great news...seminal post punk band Wire is back with a new album, planned for release in July. Release details and free download of the track "One of Us" at http://www.pinkflag.com
Wire...Wire...maybe they don't ring a bell at the moment and maybe this will help. Fischerspooner covered "The 15th" on their first album. Here it is in its original form, recorded live on German TV in 1979.
And arguably, Wire's best known song to this day, but still an underrated New Wave/Post Punk classic..."I Am The Fly" IAMTHEFLY.mp3
If they're touring in your area, I suggest checkin' them out. I was lucky enough to go to their last "Read and Burn" tour and it was simply..pummeling.
I'm pretty into Cool Kids. It's like Rap Valium, lol. Not that it's dull and boring...it just makes ya wanna lean back. For when you want that extra sneer in your lip. They make white chicks like me wanna say "CH CH CHECK IT!!!!!"
It might seem I have it out for Amy, but fuck it's waaay to easy and I really, really get annoyed when someone pisses away talent and opportunity. That being said, maybe it's a good thing I got money on the death pool because OMFG...the GROSSNESS EWWWWWWW!!!EWW! Sigh. Yes, that is Pete Doherty. The end is nigh.
Usually when you think of "earth friendly"...Goddamn hippies come to mind. Not so much, in the world of Delta Marsh. Inspired by artists such as Eno, Laurie Anderson, TVOTR, and Vive La Fete, the Toronto based duo blend the futuristic with the naturalistic, visual suggestion implanted by wistful female vocals and hard edged video. Theremins, tree frogs, beats, buzzing bee basslines and...Nick Cave dolls. Delta Marsh rock. Delta Marsh Myspace Check out the Syntonics (more to come on that kickass duo) remix of "Want You Back" HERE This is the original version, with video based on the true story of a pretty girl and a dark obsession with Nick Cave.
"Good Times" is a complete 360 in style, it's rather Banksy-esqe..so relevant to these troubled times we live in.
Recent posts have dwelled on yelly, bit-crushed chicks. Here's one who gets it right. Really right. A few years ago (yeah, THAT long) I found this band on MySpace. I knew they were destined for greatness. I feared they would be lost in the shuffle, but Kap Bambino is BACK! or HERE! or wherever but they're kickin' ass with flurry of new singles, this here is one of them. "Saved"
This was the track that entranced me from the getgo. If you're into "fuckin' shit up" music, lemme introduce you to a little track called "Neutral"
I'm not posting mp3 links 'cause this shit is worth buying. Kap Bambino MySpace
I couldn't have said it better myself. And that's the crux of this post. I didn't come up with that catchy title. It was a comment made by someone called "Plurgid". So, here's giving credit where it's due. Hats off to you, Plurgid! You're a cleverer wordsmith than me by FAR, and no, this blog post will not make me any money, but if it did, I'd give you a cut.
This is important. Crystal Castles is hitting critical mass. With a lot of love, comes a lot of hate. Frankly, I have serious informed opinions on the matter and if I was Perez Hilton, maybe I'd spill that shit but all I'm gonna say is I'm with Hipster Runoff on this one. Maybe this whole "crrraaaazy new 8-bit gameboy sound" that all the kids are raving about since they heard "Ayo Technology" is news to some, but to others, it ain't. Case in point:
So, what's the fuckin' point? Well, I never got on the Crystal Castles train 'cause something always smelled rotten. And, while I always thought them to be...pretty unoriginal, well, that's just been SUPER confirmed. Plus often, I'm just not in the mood to be shrieked at by chicks who are skinnier than me. Long story short, not only are Crystal Castles endlessly rocking presets, they also appear to pilfer huge chunks outright of other artists songs. Yep, it's been said.
There is a far more thorough examination with tracks for comparison here at CREATE DIGITAL MUSIC . It's an enlightening read and opens up for discussion "just how original is original, these days?".
Although completely hypocritical, I'll start this post with..."What's the use of having a blog if you can't say what's on your mind?"...lol. I know it's mean to make fun of someone who lost their momma but the moratorium is over on that. Kanye's latest published blog rant deals with a mediocre review of his recent show... "FUCK ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY I'M SICK OF YALL SHIT!!! 05.02.2008
“Yo, anybody that's not a fan; don't come to my show. For what?! To try to throw yall to cents in? Yall rated my album shitty and now yall come to the show and give it a B+. What's a B+ mean? I'm an extremist. It's either pass or fail! A+ or F-! You know what, fuck you and the whole fucking staff!!! I know I shouldn't dignify this with a comment, but the reviewer threw a jab at all the artists. I just wanna know when was the last time you enjoyed yourself. If you can't have fun and loose yourself at this tour it's a good chance you're a very miserable person. I actually feel sorry for you guys. Your job forces you to not have fun anymore. Grab a drink, holla at some nice girls, and party bitch!!! You don't know shit about passion and art. You'll never gain credibility at this rate. You're fucking trash! I make art. You can't rate this. I'm a real person. I'm not a pop star. I don't care about anything but making great art. Never come 2 one of my shows ever again, you're not invited and if you see me... BOW!!! This is not pop, it's pop art! Chris Willman, kill yourself!”"
This is the original post, apparently Kanye had misgivings and later removed the "kill yourself" (not very hardcore for an emcee, eh?) and fixed some spelling errors. Note to Kanye..an average emcee deserves an average grade. You're the guy who deep down inside, knows he's totally mediocre at best and shoots off his his mouth to compensate. I think they call it "short man" syndrome? Anyone who insults another artist at an awards show by crashing their moment, and then scant months later, co-opts their sound is...a douchebag trend jumper no matter how you slice it. I only hope Frenchie is laughing their asses off behind your back while they cash the cheques.
When is Andre 3000 going to come back and save us all from this shit?
Sorry I haven't been blogging this last week. I have a good excuse, though.
I've been driving around Liberty City, buying guns, fucking shit up, getting a girlfriend...banging said girlfriend, being jealous when everyone else in the game does drugs. (Nico seems to be a teetotaler when it comes to anything but Vodka) It's pretty fun.
Really, what makes this game extra special is the vastness and general awesomeness of the soundtrack, accessed via radio stations when you're in a car (that you've likely just stolen). So far, I've stolen cars while rockin' out to "Mama" by Genesis, Kavinsky, Justice, Boys Noize...come to think of it...my only actual complaint is that the Electro channel is a little bit...samey. There's plenty of rock, rap, both old and new school, you got some talk radio in there too. One of the most enjoyable stations is "Journey"...ambient/70's downtempo electronic..perfect for those stressful times when you're engaged in fleeing from cops and need to keep things chill.
A wicked treat is the Lagerfeld (yes, THAT Lagerfeld) channel. Karl obviously understands the chic portrait painted while driving down a rainy highway in an expensive car while "Supernature" by Cerrone plays on the stereo.
If you don't have GTAIV..you probably should. 'Cause, for once..doing what everyone else is doing is actually...pretty fun!
Can you hear the sound of the ice cream truck?????
Here in town, it's like the second coming of Christ....just like the last second coming of Christ when Justice was here recently. But yay! A scene explodeth! CYOA was a big bloggy hit last year, and Hearts Revolution are riding that wave to infamy. Awwesome. The "Switchblade" EP is out in pretty pink vinyl in limited release, so get it now, little Coconuts!
London Daily Telegraph reports that Amy Winehouse has been arrested after a man claims she "headbutted" him...
"A Scotland Yard spokeswoman said: "A 24-year-old woman has been arrested on suspicion of assault after attending a central London police station by appointment. She is currently in custody."
The singer, dressed in a grey mini-skirt and with her trademark beehive hairstyle in place, arrived at Holborn Police Station shortly after 5pm flanked by minders and representatives.
However it later emerged she was unfit to be interviewed when she arrived. A police spokesman said last night: "The doctor has seen the 24-year old woman and has said that she is not fit to be interviewed.
"That means that we cannot deal with her for at least four hours and until the doctor has seen her again." Wow, they're SO nice to fucked up British pop stars over there. I hope she gets off the hook, because seriously...how can do she any damage with that cushion of hair? In fact, buddy shoulda kept his mouth shut, grabbed the illegal booty that likely fell outta it and been happy with that.
Poor Amy. Here's to happier days. This is a vid of Amy getting her ass handed to her by the vocal stylings of Charlotte Church. You know if Charlotte Church is outsinging you, Girlfriend, it's time to fuckin' lay down the pipe.
Upon hearing "Devo"...it reminded me of Mount Sims who...totally lost the plot after a stunning debut, sadly. That's a shame. Let's remember the good old days of Hatefucking.
Really, I tend to avoid bad Australian, Dutch, German and Swedish dance music. There's something about the tooty sound of a Nord synth that makes my flesh crawl. I've been wanting to put the boots to E-Type and Scooter for YEARS now. Anyhow, during a random youtubing with Cobrapants associates, we found Basshunter's "Boten Anna" video. This version includes english subtitles, and while we do not think it is right for North Americans to make fun of other languages, combined with visuals and subject matter, I just can't fucking help it.
According to NME, this track "conquered Europe". I can see why. Like the "Crazy Frog" franchise, it makes me want to lay down and die.
So, Kavinsky played here the other night. Sebastian was also to share the bill, but bailed and was replaced by the..not so great Ultra Violet. Reviews were....mixed. But whatever. I liked Kavinsky before and that's not gonna change. Why? It seems some kinds of music just never go out of style. Thank god! I wanted to take this opportunity to jump into the wayback machine and trace the evolution, post Kraftwerk'cause..we ALL know about Kraftwerk, right????
Jean Michel Jarre...Equinoxe...1976...MARVEL at the hundreds of keys and satin shirt. This is a gear fetishists' wet dream.****update****the original 1976 vid was removed so you'll have to do with a 1981 performance.
Next up is our man Jan Hammer and "Crockett's Theme" from Miami Vice circa '84. I chose this version because it's been remastered, sounds great, and has extra explosions and Don Johnson content. I care!
It's 1999. A young Cobrapants is obsessed by Dutch Electro, Bunker Records, Clone Records, you name it. Shortly thereafter, Ghostly puts out a comp and I am DJing this at the local rock club, trying to convince pouffy haired, MAC makeup smeared glam rockers that this is the new shit.
2008. The masses finally get it. And they said it would never last...
The mp3 I'm gonna leave you with is by an artist named Cursor Miner, who could be considered the UK version of Kavinsky and is somehow, criminally overlooked. His albums "Danceflaw" and "Cursor Miner Plays God" are must haves.
Brooklyn Vegan reports that Matthew Dear had his hard drive stolen during his recent gig at NYC club Galapagos. There is always great comedy to be found in tragedy, as this was no ordinary tech theft...the evil and ballsy bandit made off with Matthews hard drive...DURING HIS SET WHILE HE WAS USING IT.
"Matthew, who was celebrating his birthday yesterday, had been playing a killer set for 2 hours or so. Suddenly he got a message on his computer saying that his hard disk drive was unplugged...
The music stopped, he checked and found out that the drive was actually missing... basically someone STOLE his hard drive in the middle of his set and ruined the all show!!!"
That sux. Especially since, Cobrapants has been to Galapagos and it seems like such a lovely place.
I'm sad. I need something to cheer me up. Hang on.
I will never, ever get tired of that.
And finally, wrong + wrong + bongos = TERRIBLE. Note how unhappy everyone looks.
Dammit, Cobrapants has been living on the edge so long...the edge feels dull. When I need a good whetting, I go backwards.
YMO are basically..the Japanese Kraftwerk. A little more organic, and coloured with Asian sensibility, as opposed to Teutonic frigidity. Plus they had a chick in the band. Bonus points there. A WEALTH of youtube info and footage exists..these are some of my favorites.
Cobrapants is a bit obsessive over analog synths, and seeing that kind of live setup...it's hot.
It's time to get righteous. All the best music is floating around in blogtown and Gangbangaz were kind enough to put the bestest of the bestest all together in one handy package with their first mix for the masses.
I used to work at a record label. We'd get all kinds of crazy shit from crazy people. I got a few tucked in my back pocket for a rainy day. But not today. Today is a special day. I gotta thank Mrs. Roper, totally rockin' friend of Cobrapants for letting me share this with you.
I can't put it any other way. It seems like all the cool bands are buying themselves cotton crew neck sweaters in muted tones and delving into Paul Simon's "Graceland" and old Television albums.
Some do it better than others. Vampire Weekend are the American contingency and latest pretenders to the throne. Disclaimer: The Song "A Punk" is not very punk.
When I saw this video...something told me that I had seen it...BEFORE. It bugged me all night until I realized it's a fucking WANG CHUNG video.
Cobrapants recommends you frame both in your screen together, play both at the same time and make your own video mashup!
Foals are from Oxford, UK. These are the downcast gloomers of the bunch, and have adopted the twiddly sound to a Cure/My Chemical Romance "Egads, I've just been cockpunched" vibe. If you think it sounds ghastly...it is. The song "Electric Bloom" contains the following examples of spectacularly cliched lyric writing at its finest. "all I see is marching bands" "dying kings" "it's just another hospital"
P.U!
Lastly, Norway's Datarock Okay, I'll admit that the first time I heard "Fa Fa Fa", I thought it was an LCD Soundsystem jam. And if you haven't heard of these guys, well, you'd better turn in your decorative PLO inspired neckscarf, you're out of the club. I saw Datarock live a few months ago, and they were SO. FREAKIN. TIGHT. I thought it was all canned. But it wasn't. This twiddly guitar affair puts Cobrapants in a good headspace...I see white beaches, blue water, a potent drink with an umbrella, maybe a coupla phatties...this is a feel good track indeed.
Thanks to Bigstereo for posting this first, but as a bona fide fan of the track, I gotta follow suit.
I pilfered "Sweaty Wet" G.L.O.V.E.S remix and it's been a staple in my DJ sets for months now. Hurrah! Finally! A vid for the original (and solid) version. Sure, it's low budget, suuure, it's just a party vid with neon clad people hopping around but whatever. It's effective. Not everyone is rockin video budgets like Kanye these days. Besides, it keeps the focus on what we call in blogtown A MIGHTY FUN BANGER.
This morning I woke up to a new CNN report that bloggers are dropping dead from overwork and stress. Puhleeze. Besides ass piles, sore fingers and the occasional funny bone sprain...people will find anything to whine about. Newsflash. Work is hard. Journalism is hard. Entertaining people is hard. Boo fuckin' hoo.
But not today. There's oh, soooo much to talk about. Like... The Juno awards! Oh yeah, they got awards up in Canada too, eh? Alls ya gotta do is sell about 300 copies, fill out a form and send in a fee and you too can be Juno nominated! Surprise, surprise Feist took Single of the Year, Album of the Year, Pop Album of the Year, Artist of the Year and Songwriter of the year. All well deserved, it's just too bad it takes a move to France and an Mac commercial for people here to "get it". And "get it" they have! Seems every single ad campaign now has a "Feistalike" singin' the jingle. Ohh dear.
Avril Lavigne performed her tired single "Girlfriend" and indeed, looked about as bored as everyone in the audience. I wish I had a pic of how bored that audience looked. If I didn't know any better, I'd have sworn they were cardboard cutouts. Or zombies.
Another fingerwag at the Juno committee. What's UP with the big nasty pile of oil drums on the stage for set design? Yes, oil comes from Western Canada. We know that. Too bad most of what's being pulled out of the oil sands are going...south. And too bad the Oil Sands project is tantamount to one of the greatest man made ecological disasters...ever.
Good show, Calgary! It almost made me miss the good old days of
almost.
Muuuusic...muuuusiiick. Congrats go out to Deadmau5, who picked up a Juno for best Dance recording.
My handy info updater informs Cobrapants that crazy serial killer Charles Manson (you know, the guy on all the T-Shirts?) has released a new record. At first, I was all, WTF?! They get recording rigs in lockdown? Charlie's running Garageband on a hand me down Mac? At any rate, it's pretty lo-fi, consisting of Manson singing while accompanying himself on acoustic guitar. I'm sure some clever fool will likely do a mashup/edit and throw some beats under it at some point. Anyhow, for all you folk purists out there (a HUGE portion of the Cobrapants audience, no doubt)...or those of you into crazy music by outsider freaks...(Ah! Got you there!)
Well, it's news by now that Supermodel Naomi Campbell was hauled off a flight and arrested for assault...again. I said elsewhere they should lobotomize this freak and then she'll behave like the good l'il clotheshanger she should be. Cobrapants does not advocate violence in any forms, but wonders why nobody has put this byotch in her place yet. Remember, self defense isn't a crime! GRRRRRRR!!!! NO COKE MAKE NAOMI AAAANGRRRRYYYYYYY!!!!
This punchy themed post also gives me the opportunity to throw up a track by France's The Shoes. They are delightful.
Their track "Knockout" is like...the Rocky theme song, if it came out on Ed Banger records. Tense guitar noodling, big smashy hits, hollered boxing references a plenty. I guess this is what would happen when if you denied the French their wine and they got upset. I think the original version on their myspace is tops, but the version currently floating around on (surprisingly few) blogs is the 80Kidz remix. 80Kidz MySpace Which...also sounds alot like something on Ed Banger. That being said..don't hate...congratulate, cause this is definitely a standout and top notch track. I give it two clenched bloody fists up!
So yesterday I engaged in a lively discussion about some of the worst videos on youtube. I must admit, I enjoyed many of them. On so many levels. The first offering for consideration is "When The Rain Begins To Fall" by Pia Zadora and Jermaine Jackson. In this vid, Pia appears to be held emotionallly captive by a bunch of scooter riding, white towel wearing Eurotrash new wavers from Ibiza with bad attitudes and cool sunglasses, and it is Jermaine's job to rescue her. Innntense.
Satin pajama pants? Bad robot dancing? Mid 80's funk sluts? Flashing lazers? The floating head of Tubbs from Miami Vice? This could truly be the best video ever made. Yet somehow, it is not.
What's interesting to note is that if you compare this vid with Snoop's vid posted yesterday...they're not that dissimilar in style. Yet one works and...one does not. It's just that Snoop magic, ya know?
Chrrrist almighty this album is awesome. Cobrapants likes albums that take you on a trip, there's not enough artists out there these days willing or able to take that risk. Snoops 9th album takes us from smooth, to hyphy epics ("Life Of Da Party"), to old school Prince inspired jams, to country...yes...country and it's a wicked song...and some plain old fucked up awesome production on tracks like "Let It Out" and "Gangsta Like Me".."Staxxx In My Jeans" is fuck-off good. I'll have what Snoop's smokin'.
It took like, an extra week for Sexual Seduction to whap me over the head, oh but has it ever. Fuckin' sweet video.
Surely you've heard it. Or of it. Much debate rages about this tune. Let's have a listen, shall we?
Now, usually I'd be all up and into this kinda thing. Nobody supports strong willed foul mouthed female musicians more than Cobrapants. Buuut, there's just something about this track that bugged me...and I couldn't put my finger on it. A lot of people are touting this tune as the ultimate in feminism. I don't see it. To me, it's a crying shame that she HAS to smell Playa's dick. The sad little piano lick and plaintive whine of Riskay makes it even more pathetic. See, MY song would go more like "If I Got Reason To Smell Yo Dick I'm Taking The Houses, The Cars, The Bank Accounts Or At Least Fuckin' Yo Ass Up. Permanently."
Much better song, I think. At any rate, it's been signed by veteran Danny Glass, who brought us artists like Vanilla Ice, Kittie and Baha Men. I see the connection here.
It seems appropriate to post a novelty song, on this First Day of April, so enjoy your Riskay...
I'll be over here listening to this instead...
ixft.J-Cast_A-Clay_LeeMajor_.mp3 What A Fool Believes (Chew Fu Hustle Song Refix) J-Cast, A-Clay & Lee Majors vs. The Doobie Brothers
Congratulations in order for reader Jmassif, who correctly identified the 26 hot blog topics in Friday's post. In fact, he's so goddamn sexy he found a 27th bonus reference, that being "angular". Hot. Felicitations, Jmassif. You are the winner of the IRONY SWEEPSTAKES!!!!!!!
Huzzah!
Please accept this "hyphy trophy"...which is actually just a discarded L'il Jon crunk juice cup that I covered in glitter.
I'm pissed off today. All music pisses me off today. Occasionally one must choke on the spoon that feeds us. It's abnormal to NOT have a gag reflex.
We can all be idiots, it's true. But stuff and shit is cool. Nathan Barley, a great show from the UK helps us keep Vice Magazine culture in perspective.
So I went to the restaurant with my kid sister last week, in search of a decent cheeseburger. I'd heard there was a great place, the new rave of all the gourmands in town. Not your usual tourist trap frequented by Americans in loud apparel. A bona fide, undiscovered hipster joint. So we headed towards the dirty south end of town. No crystal castles here, just a lot of bums, and VNDLSM on the walls. The decor of the bistro was...interesting and featured a large sculpture entitled "The Spirit of Williamsburg"...a monkey playing the drums..some sort of simian mobile disco, it would seem. It was quite beautiful and obviously created by someone with talent, a master of the craft. Stunning. After a long wait, sis and I were seated by our server in an angular, modular banquette. I order the cheeseburger. "You have your choice between two sides, Aoki leaf salad, which has tons of vitamins for you...or the hot chips." I chose the latter. After a long wait, our food eventually arrives at our table. Villains! Where's the fuckin' ketchup? M.I.A. Nowhere to be found. So I yelle over to our waiter "yo, quit fuckin' with the presets on your iphone and get me some some ketchup you daft punk! My side of fries ain't gettng any warmer, here!" At which point he offers me a mayo/fresh herb mashup instead. Now, while a lack of mayo for your hot chips would usually cause a riot in Belgium, I was all "WTF..I ain't dim, Mack! If there's any justice in this world you'll go get me some fucking ketchup!" The server seemed rather confused by this, and instead offered me a dessert menu featuring glass candy and some kind of flan with peaches in it. At this point, I just gave up completely...took my poor aching 'ed, banged it on the the table..paid my bill and left.
I gotta say, though, the burger was pretty hyphy.
HISTORY LESSON: SO YOU THINK WE INVENTED SYNTH PUNK? Well, we didn't. The Screamers did. Well, they might not have invented it, but they sure did it well. RIP, Tomata Du Plenty.
WHO THE FUCK IS COBRAPANTS ANYHOW? All shall be revealed...eventually.
This blog is dedicated to the forward momentum of music and culture, and increased social credit without sacrificing integrity. MP3s posted on this site are for the promotion of good artists. Please support them by going to their shows, spinning their tracks and buying their music. Got love? Got complaints? Holla at:
cobrapantz@gmail.com
.jpg)
.jpg)